2008 Beijing Olympics Elimination Bracket: The Edible Eight

Things are heating up as we move on to the Edible Eight. Click on the image below to see how things stand:

The first thing you'll probably notice is that #4 Synchronized Swimming pulled the biggest upset of the tournament, bouncing the overall #1 seed Basketball from the competition. I think Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird all turned over in their proverbial graves that have yet to be created. But that wasn't the only big upset in the Succulent 16. #6 Table Tennis ping'd and pong'd it's way right past diving and into a quarterfinal match-up against #1 Swimming. Besides #3 Volleyball getting the kill against #2 Softball, all other matches went according to seeding. So here we go, the Edible Eight!

#4 Synchronized Swimming v. #3 Soccer
If basketball couldn't slow these girls down, I'm not sure any sport in this competition can - with perhaps the exception of Table Tennis. No strangers to trash talk, those synchronized swimmers were heard singing, "HEY BASKETBALL - TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES!"



#1 Swimming v. #6 Table Tennis
OK, so get this - the Olympics are in Beijing, right? Remember in Forrest Gump, when Forrest started kicking some ping-pong butt? Remember when he said "I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle"? Do you also remember that he played on the All-American team...in CHINA! The connection here is as thick as the Beijing pollution. Can Michael Phelps and his chlorine crew hold off the spirit of Forrest Gump?


#1 Gymnastics v. #2 Beach Volleyball
I've gotta be honest, I'm drawing a blank here - I've got nothing funny or witty to contribute. I could resort to some sexual innuendo, but most of the girls involved in gymnastics are underage, and I'd feel just dirty. Here's a picture of a cute puppy instead.



#1 Track and Field v. #3 Volleyball
Remember Dan and Dave? They made those commercials for Reebok and started a national debate over which one would get the Gold and which one would settle for Silver. Dan and Dave were the shizzle before Snoop Dogg taught us that everything sounds cooler if it ends in "-izzle." But then the unthinkable happened - Dan failed to qualify for the 1992 Olympics. On the bright side, Dave would go on to blow past the competition as expected and win the Gold.

Wait, what's that? He didn't win the Gold? He got the Bronze? Oh. That sucks.




Voting closes on Wednesday night at Midnight.