[InGameNow]: The guys over at IGN take a look at the "12 Most Badass Flattops in All of Sports." It's a good read - or if you're illiterate like me, they have nice pictures. I don't know about you, but seeing Brian Bosworth makes me want to head straight to the barber's. Go check it out and see if Chris Mullin made the list...when you find that he didn't, demand that he be put on there.
With Cedric Benson being dropped by the Bears this offseason and 2005 rookie of the year Cadillac Williams possibly out for the entire 2008 season it is hard not to look back at the top 10 picks of the 2005 NFL draft and not think about how TERRIBLE most of these guys have turned out. Gotta start with #1 pick Alex Smith of the San Francisco 49ers. Smith just got beat out of the starting job by a guy who has been on 8 different NFL rosters since being drafted in the 6th round of the 2002 NFL draft. Yeah, that's right, JT Osullivan just took your job Alex. Enjoy that fat rookie contract, cause you might not get a second contract at all.
Ronnie Brown (#2) and Cadillac (#5) have shown promise, but can't seem to stay healthy for any substantial period of time. Benson (#4) and Mike Williams (#10) aren't even in the league anymore. We all know the story of #6 pick Adam "make it rain" Jones. With Commissioner Goodell's itchy suspension trigger, it's gonna be hard to count on the former Pacman to make anything of himself. #7 pick Troy Williamson was AWFUL for the Vikings and has since been traded to the Jaguars. Antrel Rolle (#8) and Carlos Rogers (#9) have been serviceable players, but by no means pro-bowlers. #3 pick Braylon Edwards has been by far the toast of this top 10 group. He finally turned the corner last year and put up huge numbers during the 2007 campaign. Once you get out of the top 10 picks you find some real studs in this draft. Demarcus Ware, Shawne Merriman, and Jammal Brown were picked #11-13 and have all become pro-bowlers since. The league should use this draft class as an argument for trying to cap these exorbitant rookie contracts. There is no way these guys should be getting paid 10s of millions until they actually prove they can perform at the highest level. This is one instance in which the NFL should copy the NBA. You wont hear that very often.
I just took the Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock Quiz over at Yardbarker. I got 7 right while Ogueria got 10 right. Anyone do better?
(First, before I even begin this post, let me sulk* indulgently in that witty title..........ok, let's get to it).
How many NFL coaches would jump at the chance to plug a 6'5" athlete who can run 100 meters in 9.69 seconds into their special teams unit? How many NFL coaches would love to see the fastest man on the planet burn defenses on his way to the end zone? But above all - wouldn't Bolt jerseys fly off the shelves faster than the man himself?
(OK, I'm sorry, I promise that last sentence will be my last hacky line in this post).
This is why I propose what seems like a no-brainer to me - NFL franchises should be knocking on Jamaican track field superstar Usain Bolt's door as soon as he returns from Beijing. The man is a physical specimen. Here's a guy who is TALLER than Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, and Chad Johnson. He'd also burn each and every one of them in a sprint, probably even back-to-back-to-back without rest. This dude runs faster than Chad Johnson flaps his gums. (OK, sorry, that really is the last hacky line). But while we're talking about flapping gums, we also need to acknowledge the fact that Bolt has the personality for the NFL. Did you see him showboat before finishing the 100 meters? Not only did he win the gold, but he set a world record - while SLOWING down! WITH HIS SHOES UNTIED! Ridiculous. The kid has charisma.
Obviously, my proposal is faced with the argument that football is much more than north-south running. There's a lot of cutting, spinning, hitting, shedding, etc. going on in the gridiron. I understand that. But that's the stuff you can teach. You can't pull a 6'5" kid off the street and teach him to destroy world records. And I'm not saying make the guy a WR or a RB, though I wouldn't completely dismiss the idea of him being a deep threat receiver in case he is a quick learner. But have him handle the kick returns. If he works out, you've got a guy who can be even more dangerous than Devin Hester. Perhaps the only people that would feel the pressure more than the kicking team would be EA Sports, who would be forced to bump Bolt's speed up to 100+ in Madden.
So take Bolt - give him the opportunity to live the lavish lifestyle he'd probably appreciate. Give him the opportunity to show up fools not every four years, but every Sunday 16+ weeks of the year. Give him a year or two to see if he's got what it takes. If he doesn't? Oh well. You can't blame the club or Bolt for giving it a shot. At the very least, it's a great marketing deal for the NFL on the heels of Bolt's Olympic success. And for Bolt - he'll still have a couple years to prepare for the 2012 games in London.
*Obviously, I meant to say "soak" and not "sulk." But I'm not going to change it so everyone can see what a talentless hack I am. English majors everywhere are shaking their heads at me.
The Muffin is headed to Vegas this weekend for O's bachelor party. One word: DEBAUCHERY. So what does this have to do with you? We want your ideas - Where should we go? What should we do? Where's the best sports book? Where's the best bar? Where can I place my bets for Olympic synchronized swimming?
Sure, we've been to V-Town about dozen times ourselves, but it's always fun to hear people's suggestions - or at least some classic Vegas stories - because there's always some place you've never been or something you haven't tried yet. So give us your Vegas Best.
There has been an alarming amount of world records being broken in the pools of Beijing this summer. Some attribute the record-breaking performances to advances in personal training leading up to the Olympic games, others think it's the new Speedo swimsuits. But today on Pardon the Interruption, Rick Reilly - filling in for Tony Kornheiser - suggested that Roger Clemens may be juicing the pools.
At first, we all laughed. Until the photo below (which is in absolutely no way badly photoshopped) surfaced showing the Rocket in his newest gig as pool boy. Reports are now coming in from Beijing that the latest pH tests show a much greater amount of Human Growth Hormone in the pools than usual.
So in the spirit of Madden 2009 coming out this week I thought I'd prepare a mock draft for Franchise Mode. Yeah, I'm that bored right now. I need something else to do while watching Olympic Rowing. So here we go!
1. Vince Young QB TEN: Yeah, Yeah, it's cheap I know. But that speed on a QB is usually unstoppable in Madden.
2. Adrian Peterson RB MIN: Gotta go with AP here cause of youth, plenty of years left on contract, and if you build his stats I'm sure he'll get to 99 overall pretty quickly. Only problem is for people like me who pass for most of their yardage.
3. Patrick Willis MLB SF: Always have valued quick MLBs against other user teams. A MUST!!
4. Tony Romo QB DAL: Has really good accuracy and the necessary speed to roll out of the pocket
5. Shawne Merriman LB SD: Can build sick sack numbers with this guy
6. LaDanian Tomlinson RB SD: Still should have some 4-5 great madden years left in him.
7. Brian Westbrook RB PHI: Love RBs who have great speed and can catch.
8. Nnamdi Asomugha CB OAK: On All-Madden mode you always need good CBs
9. Dangelo Hall CB OAK: Madden favorite of mine cause of the speed to take it to the house
10. Reggie Bush RB NO: Love putting this guy in the slot. LIke I said before, running aint my thing.
11. Joseph Addai RB IND: I know, another RB, but his youth and overall rankings make him great trade bait.
12. Demarcus Ware LB DAL: Again with speed on D
13. Ed Reed FS BAL: Always around 99 Overall and a threat to pick
14. Andre Johnson WR HOU: Usually good idea to have 1 superstar WR. This guy has speed and size
15. Braylon Edwards WR CLE: Probably best young WR in league and now in Madden
16. Calvin Johnson WR DET: Been in love with this guy since I drafted him out of NCAA import, UNHH!
17. Devin Hester WR/KR CHI: Probably don't need to draft him this early unless you have another human user. 99 SPEED!!!
18. Vernon Davis TE SD: Freakish speed at TE can get you those redzone TDs
19. Larry Fitzgerald WR ARI: More youth and great catching ability
20. Darren McFadden RB OAK: Here's hoping there are plays in the OAK playbook that lines McFadden at QB. TASTY!!
21. Champ Bailey CB DEN: I usually stay clear of this guy cause of cap number and now age is a factor.
22: Tom Brady QB NE: Should be higher I know, but I crave speed at QB. Only reason to draft him is to trade him
23: Peyton Manning QB IND: See Brady
24: Jamarcus Russell QB OAK: Little speed, but that arm strength combined with a speedy WR can be sexy
25: Antonio Gates TE SD: Another red zone and big play threat. Love plays that put him in the slot
26: Kellen Winslow TE CLE: Ratings should jump after big year. Plus his wife is HOOOOT!!!
27. Drew Brees QB NO: Decent enough speed and good accuracy. Keep him for a year or two before drafting a stud QB.
28. Santonio Holmes WR PIT: You already know, speed.
29: Antonio Cromartie CB/KR: Hopefully AWR is better this year. Should be after all those real-life picks.
30: Mario Williams DE HOU: Contract is scary, but should be huge help against users who roll out.
31: Maurice Jones-Drew RB JAX: Love this little guy. Great trucking to go along with that speed.
32: Joe Thomas OL CLE: Thought I'd get at least 1 O-lineman in here. Best young Left tackle should prevent sackage.
So, you could argue to just pick the best available player cause there is always a computer team willing to let you fleece them and you can get all the players you want anyway. But that would have missed the main point of this article, which is I'm a huge Madden Dork. AND I LOVE IT!!!
You've got two options for QB:
Option #1 is 38 years old with 1 Super Bowl ring and 3 NFL MVP trophies. He's got a career QB Rating of 85.7 and a career completion percentage of 61.4. His best statistical year was back in 1995, when he bombed the pigskin for 4,413 yards, 38 TD's and 13 INT's.
Option #2 is 37 years old with 1 Super Bowl ring and 2 NFL MVP trophies. He's got a career QB Rating of 93.2 and a career completion percentage of 65.1 His best statistical year was in 1999, when he accumulated 4,353 yards, 41 TD's and 13 INT's.
Which one do you take?
As I'm sure you can already gather from the title of this article, I'm taking Option #2 - Kurt Warner. This is not to knock Brett Favre (who was Option #1, for those of you who are "slow"). He's obviously a great quarterback, and unless he finds himself in the Clementh Circle of Sports Hell, he's a first ballot Hall of Famer. But a lot of what makes Favre the icon he is is the green and the gold. It's the fact that he stayed with one franchise for so long, and all the success - including that one Super Bowl victory - that he had with that franchise.
But, you look at the numbers, and there's really not much difference between Favre and Warner. In fact, the only difference is that Warner's career numbers are slightly better and he's arguably more accomplished. But how come Warner is not revered the same way Favre is? It's not like Warner beat his wife, bet on games, or dealt drugs on the side or anything. On the contrary, Warner is a blue-collared, hard-working individual - from going undrafted by the NFL, to playing in Canada, to coming back to the States and becoming a Super Bowl hero (not to mention a bona fide threat in Madden).
Warner's problem = he didn't have the same opportunity that Favre had to become a mainstay in his community. If Warner had played every year of his career in St. Louis, I'm sure he'd be on that short list of QB's (along with Peyton Manning and Tom Brady) to have a shot at reaching Favre iconic status. But, the Rams fell in love with Bulger and felt it was time to cut the cord on Warner.
Which leads me to another difference between Favre and Warner. In the midst of this whole Favre "I'm retired - I'm not retired" ordeal, we see that Favre really doesn't care about the Packer franchise or the careers of guys like Aaron Rodgers and Brian Brohm. Obviously through all his accomplishments, Favre has earned the right to throw his weight around in this league and do what's best for himself. It's just that we as fans hope that our sports heroes and icons would take the high road - we want them to go that extra mile off the field just like they do on it. Don't tell your team you're retired, have them move on without you, only to come in later and say "I'm Back!" and expect everything to be like old times. In the legal community, we call that "laches." It's just not cool.
That's why I'll take Kurt Warner. After being jettisoned from the city that enjoyed two Super Bowl victories because of him, Warner went off to New York. Despite throwing for over 2,000 yards and completing nearly 63% of his passes, he was replaced by rookie Eli Manning. (How do you think Favre would have handled that situation?) Warner remained on the sidelines and mentored the soon-to-be Super Bowl QB. The next year, Warner continued his exodus to Arizona - where, once again, he finds himself on the sideline mentoring young Matt Leinart. Is he outside the white lines because of his production? 3,417 yards, 62.3 completion percentage, and 27 TD's in 2007 suggest that's not the case. He's on the sideline because the Cardinals have their QB of the future in Leinart. Yet, you don't hear him giving an ultimatum: start me or trade me.
So give me Trusty #13. Better career numbers and a better team attitude.
It appears we're not the only ones who went with the "The Sports [Insert Your Obscure Food Item Here]" route when naming our blog. Recently, The Sports Cucumber sprouted up. (Do cucumbers sprout?) If you haven't seen it yet, check them out. On second thought - don't, because those guys do a pretty good job and we want expectations for the Muffin to be kept as low as possible.
Now I'm off to go register the domains for The Sports Coconut, The Sports Thanksgiving Turkey, The Sports Creamed Spinach, The Sports Egg Salad Sandwich, and The Sports Turducken in case this trend really takes off.
The Yankees didn't give up nearly enough in the Xavier Nady-Damaso Marte trade blah blah blah blah. Today, the Pirates are feeling like they made out pretty well. 25 year-old Jeff Karstens, who the Bucs picked up in that trade, not only outdueled Randy Johnson, but he threw a (near) PERFECT game - Chris Young broke up the Perfecto in the bottom of the 8th with a 2-out double. But, hey, the Yankees still have Joba, right?
First, they screwed up a presidential election - now, Florida is flooding 911 with stupid. According to this report, a man called 911 - not once, but twice - because a Hard Rock Casino slot machine stole his money. On second thought, that's brilliant. I'm headed to Vegas in a couple weeks, maybe I'll give it a shot.
The second story concerns a Floridian man who called 911 to tell them that his Subway sandwich did not have sauce on it. Seriously. He called 911 because he was deprived of his Subway sauce. Employees ended up locking the dude out of the restaurant. Contrary to initial assumptions, the sauce-deprived man was not Jon Gruden.
It's stories like these that make me think this country should just sever its Floridian appendage. Seriously - let's just let it drift off into the Atlantic. Maybe trade it for Cuba - they have better cigars and better baseball prospects, anyway. All Florida gives us are Disneyworld and orange juice. But we already get that from Southern California. So, really, Florida brings nothing to the table.
While preparing for the California Bar Exam, I came across this lucky duck. I seriously had to reconsider this whole "being a lawyer" thing. I want his job...
